Primary Season Comes to an End, or Does It?

The anticipated victories of Illinois Senator Barack Obama in today's Democratic primaries in Montana and South Dakota will bring him closer to, but still short of, the delegate count needed to clinch the right to represent the Democratic Party in the November general election. According to the official electoral schedule, today’s votes also represent the last opportunity for Obama rival New York Senator Hillary Clinton to close the delegate gap before the nomination fight is thrown fully at the feet of the party’s superdelegates, a significant number of whom remain officially uncommitted.

The odds against Senator Clinton’s candidacy have steadily lengthened, but she nevertheless remains publicly unbowed. Already behind in the delegate count, Senator Clinton’s campaign was dealt another blow over the weekend when the Democratic Party Rules Committee settled the issues of whether and how to seat the delegations from Michigan and Florida, both of which technically lost their right to participate when the nominating contests were held early in violation of party rules. Senator Clinton won both contests handily, aided by Senator Obama’s decisions to forego campaign appearances in either state and to remove his name from the Michigan ballot. The Clinton campaign had hoped to secure the two state delegations’ inclusion in the party convention in a manner reflecting the electoral results; party leaders, however, have decreed that the voting weight of the delegations will be reduced by half and have awarded a significant delegate share to Obama.

Out of time and denied use of the Florida-Michigan gambit, the Clinton campaign has decided upon the logical, though highly unorthodox, route of seeking to extend the primary season by expanding the federal union. Asked for a statement of the obvious that would nevertheless possess the imprimatur of intellectual authority, Stanford University political scientist Joe MacArthur commented, “There has historically been a direct correlation between the number of states and the number of primary contests. If a candidate wants to increase the number of primaries, increasing the number of states is a sure-fire, albeit difficult, method to do so. It has never succeeded before, but that may only be because it has never previously been attempted.”

The Clinton campaign has clearly arrived at the same conclusion. In a bill proposed in the Senate, Senator Clinton has called for Iraq, Afghanistan, Taiwan, and Haiti to be incorporated into the United States; a separate proposal filed with the Democratic Party has requested the immediate organization of primaries in these countries in advance of the party’s August nominating convention.

Above: Senator Clinton paid a visit to U.S. soldiers during a campaign swing through Iraq.

“The people of Iraq and Afghanistan are as subject to the authority and decisions of the United States President as any other citizen of the United States,” Ms. Clinton declared from the floor of the Senate. “They should have a say in the general election as well as in who represents the great traditions of the Democratic Party in that contest. Iraqis and Afghans, George Bush tried to make your countries democracies; I will make you Democrats. To deny you the right to voice your commitment to the Democratic party – and to my campaign – would be unconscionable and un-American. It would be, in short, the very sort of policy that my opponent Senator Obama would support.”

Asked about Taiwan’s inclusion in the bill, Senator Clinton suggested that granting membership in the United States to the island nation could serve to dampen recurrent diplomatic and military tensions in the Pacific Rim. “The Chinese definitely don’t want the Taiwanese to declare their independence and have said that they would regard this as a causus belli. We can make sure that such a situation never arises.”

As for Haiti, Ms. Clinton suggested that inclusion in the union was an appropriate form of compensation for the United States’ partial responsibility for the country’s poverty, corruption, and episodic anarchy. More cynical observers suggest that the desire to include Haiti in the election is motivated by less magnanimous and more Machiavellian considerations that center on the Haitian population’s susceptibility to outside influence. Sources within the campaign have confirmed that Jean-Claude “Baby Doc” Duvalier, who ruled Haiti as a brutal dictator in the 1970's and 1980’s, has already signed on as a Clinton campaign consultant. Senate staffers also report that Clinton’s draft bill contains fine print that clears the way for drastic cuts in US aid to Haiti should the Haitian population fail to endorse Clinton’s candidacy by a wide margin.

Above: Clinton campaign adviser, former Haitian dictator Jean-Claude Duvalier

When reached for comment on the bill, Senator Obama responded bluntly: “I’ve got three words for you, Hillary: Give it up! And no, I don’t want you as my Vice President.”